"Sam, you can do better."

Okay, so this is a post I wrote yesterday (Monday the 5th) and I'm just now getting around to posting it. Enjoy!

Yesterday was such an amazing day filled with my favorite person in the world. My Sunday morning meetings weren't too bad and then it was choir practice. We were supposed to be practicing in the young womens room but some committee from the 1st Ward was using it for a board meeting. We ended up having to meet in a tiny room above the bishops office with a tiny little keyboard. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen with this Christmas program. In Priesthood Cody Lundgreen gave the lesson. He shared a personal experience he'd had while back and it really touched me. He said that he was praying and felt like there was a wall between him and the Lord. As he knelt there pondering why this was happening he had a distinct impression come. "Cody, you can do better." I wonder if that's what I've been feeling these past few weeks/months. "Sam, you can do better." I know that I can. Especially with my gospel study. I love Sunday School and Sacrament because I get to sit with Meg.

After church Meg and I headed up to her home in Syracuse. I was a little nervous because being around her dad stresses me out a little. I feel like I need to prove myself to him and I feel like I'm failing. It scares me because I'm in love with his daughter and I want his approval to be dating her. I feel that I get along with the rest of her family really well even if we do have pretty different interests. One great thing from last night was I being able to listen to Meg and her sisters practice a song they're going to be singing. They all have amazing voices and I was sad that I wasn't going to be able to hear them sing this. I felt kinda bad because I think Adrianna was a little self conscious with me sitting there listening to them especially when they broke it down and had each of them practice their own parts one at a time.

I have a migraine today which is really messing with my emotions and memories. It's really interesting that I have one because I just finished writing a paper for biology about migraine headaches. I think that last night I had a dream about something going horribly wrong between me and Meg and the emotions from that dream and bleeding over.

I'm really stressed about finals. I had my first dream about failing my finals last night and it's got me really worried. I feel like such a bad student because I haven't been studying up to this point and I really need to start. Mostly I'm worried about Math and Biology. In a few minutes I'm going be headed into Biology to start the review days. I missed a good chunk of math this morning because of my migraine and over sleeping. One week from tomorrow I will be done with finals and winter break will have started. Oh what a much needed break that will be.