Rescued

Do you ever feel like in this big huge world with so many talented people you don't stand a chance? I know I sure do at times. I've actually thought a lot about this recently. I tend to be very critical of myself. I see all my flaws and then blow them up 100 times to examine them even closer and forget to reduce their size back down to normal. When this happens my vision is obscured and it leads to me thinking that I don't have anything special, anything I can call my own. It's so easy to look around and see all the wonderful qualities in others but as soon as I look in the mirror it's like everything goes dark. Mind you this doesn't happen all the time but it does happen and it's not fun and definitely not healthy. It's so easy to get sucked into this negativity about myself and the longer I'm there the harder it is to climb back out.

Sunday night brought with it a great Fireside with Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and he said some things that really resonated with me. He spoke of how ordinary a man he is and how when he was younger, he felt he didn't have any talents, anything unique to call his own. He spoke of how when his father was writing an autobiography (I think that's what it was) he spent a good page talking about each of his children...except for him. All he got was one short sentence, "Tom surprised us." What an amazing sense of love I felt from my Father in Heaven that night as I realized that if this great man, an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ had felt these same feelings and still did at times, there was still hope for me. I was once again reassured that even though I may not be "the best" at anything in particular, I still have qualities and talents that can set me apart, that are lovable. It's amazing to me how easy it is to fall into the trap of believing I'm not worth anything, that no one could ever really love me once they got to know me. I almost fell into that same old trap again today but the thought of what Elder Perry said quietly entered my mind like a life boat and pulled me out of what was becoming a swirling ocean of doubt. I felt it was worth sharing.